Just a few of my recent blogs on Sparpeople...

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Week after week I keep planning and saying I am going to do this... and these are the tools I have.. or here is my plan... I just wish I could stop talking so much and just do it.. To be honest I probably have even written a blog that has about the same content.... Why do I plan plan plan.. and not follow through.. Why am I all talk and no action.. Once again I watched the Biggest Loser last night.. I love that show... and seeing Tara kick butt AGAIN... 17weeks ago she weight 294lbs now she weight 159... It isn't the weight loss though.. It is her drive... her push to not quit .. to WIN.. She ran a MARATHON last night.. I cried at the end for her.. actually all of them.. I only wish I had half of Tara's determination and then maybe I would be actually getting somewhere with this...

Monday, May 11, 2009

So I have been planning on going home for Christmas and wanted to lose a decent amount of weight so I can surprise my family.. Not tell them I am trying to lose weight and show up 50 or so lbs lighter.. I am in Florida and they are in Virginia... I saw them last Christmas and it had been 2 years before that since they had seen me and of course I was heavier than before... So this time I wanted it to be different...

Well now I found out my brother got engaged yesterday.. Which I knew was going to happen but what I didn't know was that they are trying to plan for a NOVEMBER wedding THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG... Now I have less time and a way more important event.. I have to look good at this wedding.. I am sick of being FAT... I have gone to two weddings EVER and both of them I looked like a FREAKING whale...One navy blue whale at my sisters wedding and then a freaking black whale at my fiancee brothers wedding...
I also need to say this.. .my brother is three years younger than me.. Just got engaged and already getting married.. by then they will have been together for two years.. I on the other hand have been with Adam for 6 years in December and have been engaged for two years and no plan yet for the wedding.. I am a little jealous.. I am waiting for mine for many reasons...Or should I really say two.. .'MONEY of course is one.. Adam was without a job for 4months or so.. and now with his daughter living with us it is another mouth to feed plus her dog.. I already have 4 dogs two cats and a ferret.... lol... and the biggest reason.. I WILL NOT BE A FAT BRIDE...


I want to go back to the beginning of my blog...where I said I want to lose weight before I go home for christmas. and now my brothers wedding...
WHAT ABOUT ME... I need to be saying I want to lose weight FOR ME.. for my wedding... for my health... SO I CAN HAVE A BABY...
I refuse to marry and get pregnant until I am healthy...

I am just saying.. When am I going to care about myself.. and do for myself like I do and care for everyone else...

Friday, May 15, 2009

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night.. and weighed myself.. lol..yes I have been that crazy lately.. Wanted to see the scale move.. it finally did this morning.. .and I am on my way... I have right over 100lbs to get to my FINAL goal of 158.. So then I sat here for a few minutes and thought.. Why is that my goal weight.. How did I come up with that number.. 3 and half years ago I did get to my smallest weight of 175 and everyone thought I looked good.. at that time my goal was 165.. So while I never reached it.. I was happy I guess...but now.. I want to lose even more... I am not sure my reason for it.. but I know that I want it...
not 155 not 160.. 158... So I was wondering if anyone else had a weird number to reach...
I know that my first big goal was to get to 175 for my brothers wedding in the end of November and the go from there...
was 265 when I found that out so I needed to lose 90 lbs... so now I need to lose 84.8lbs.. and that was just in the past week.. so I really think once I get into this FULL FORCE.. .I can do it...
and once again I am rambling.. Sorry

Mini Eggplant Pizzas Recipe

Mini Eggplant Pizzas Recipe

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Long Time Gone...

I am sorry that I have disappointed all the the bloggers out there that follow my site.. It has been a long time... I am ashamed and very upset with myself.. I will start off by saying that I have had a lot going on at this time... Just very busy as well as confused... Now I will put a quote on here that I need to read everyday... "Excuses only satisfy those who make them." So... Tell me now... what can I say.. NOTHING... I am a slacker and I have not been doing what I need to do.. I have lost weight .. and need to really kick it up though... Please .. give me the chance to prove to you that I can once again do this and SUCCEED..... I NEED THIS........
Thank you
Kristin

Biggest Loser

The Kick in the Butt I Needed.........

So as you all know.. I have been struggling... and failing and trying and failing.... well you know what I mean... Something just isnt working here.. I have started the South Beach Diet again like I mentioned yesterday but was already wanting to give up... Adam Dad is in town and has stayed with us the past couple of days and last night everyone else went to bed and He and I sat outside on the patio... We talked about a lot.... One thing was weight... It was an eye opener....he was not mean... just honest... but like the say sometimes THE TRUTH HURTS...... He was around when i lost all the weight before... I can even word how and what he said last night.. but lets just say.. I was soooo tired this morning and I still go up and walked and then on my 15 minute break at work I walked around my building and then at lunch i have a walk date... I am not going to jinx this but thanks Paul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a good day
Kristin

First Day South Beach Diet

I have decided to go back to doing the South Beach Diet. I have tried just cutting back counting calories and fat intake.. I need more structure than that... I know this diet works. I did it three years ago and had great success from it... I had a lot going on this weekend so I didnt prepare as much as I wanted to but I have today covered so when I get home tonight I am going to be fixing for the rest of the week... I have been slacking since being sick and I am sorry that I havent even really been doing my blog... I was ashamed.... I will be back in full force... Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I am so ready for it...
Be back tomorrow with a real blog.. lol
Kristin

Failures and Success

I have put on one of my blogs before... I think I found this on Sparkpeople.com but I just think that this is good... And it fits.....
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
I have hit a time in my life where I need to make some changes... Not only in my weight loss but everything... Home life.. work life... I am one of those people that if I do not see results I quit, because I do not want to fail, so if I quit then I made that choice so in my eyes I am not failing. In reality I am... I am failing myself.. I am hurting myself... I have said from day one that I am here for a LIFESTYLE change.. lets face it.. I have not done what it takes to accomplish that... I know that I looked back in almost every blog I have written so far... all I see are excuses and the promise to get back on track and not to fail again...They say that to make something a habit..do it for 28 days... Does that really work... I have lost weight in the past and felt like it was a lifestyle change it was WELL over 28 days.... That was 3 years ago and 100 lbs lighter... So what happen... I HAPPENED... I have been told lately that I am very hard on myself and yes that is true.. I put all these things on my shoulders.. I dont want to marry Adam until I lose all the weight.. I am not going to have a baby until I lose all this weight.. I am not going to be happy until I lose all of the weight... Well what can I do ..... Why am I putting all of that pressure on that one little thing... but lets face it ..Its a HUGE problem.. Being OBESE is a big deal.. It affects a lot... Health... happiness..... it can hold you back on a a lot.... but with me putting all these things on hold putting so much pressure on me is this setting myself up for failure..... How can I change my thoughts... because really... a lot of my problems are in my head.. I know that I can lose weight with diet and exercise....but I am not doing it..because my head is telling me I will never do it..... I know I can.... I know that I am going on and on... but that is me.. .always thinking about everything.... but have you noticed that in my title it says failures and success.. I have not yet mentioned anything about success.... It makes you wonder... think about everything that you have done in your life... I have done many things in the past that made me feel good... but why does that matter when I talk to people... I always go straight to the negative...???

SO HERE IT GOES.... Good things that I have done in my life that makes me Happy!

I worked in a group home for year and the guys still keep in touch with me now...
I also worked with mentally challenged adults for about a year and talk to them as well
I am a very caring person and have always helped anyone I can at any point of my life
I love my family no matter how dysfunctional they (we) are...
I have done many walks for charity..
I will help you before I help myself.

So that is just a few... but that last one is not really a good thing.. Yes it is good to help others..but the truth is if you are willing to help yourself in the long run you are hurting others you just do not see it yet....

So everyone that reads this... Lets take time everyday for just ourselves... Yes with the weight loss journey but also something mentally as well... Just get something off of your chest..Something that Adam and I do .. Is High/Low... We always talk everday and say what was the best part of our day (high) what was the worst part of the day (low) and if we could change one thing about it what would it be.... I got this from a movie.. but it has been helping us get things out that before we didnt give ourselves a chance to..
Have a wonderful day...!!!!!!!!

Kristin